It's only March and I'm already half dead inside.
What do you do when nothing goes your way? Do you cry about it or take a knife and slit the throat of the people that stand in your way? Right now, both ways aren't helping in any kind of way. Honestly, I wish things are easier. But then. there won't be any thrills. Feels like I just hit rock bottom. Wounded, badly injured, and so unmotivated to move on. I know, everyone keeps telling me the same thing; I should move on and let it be in the past. They don't understand. I'm devastated. Disappointed. Ashamed. Yet, I can't blame them. No one understands you but yourself. I guess this saying is pretty much true. If you understand yourself so much, why is it so hard to move on? Why is it hard to tell yourself it's gonna be okay? Why is it so hard to soothe the pain?
Questions unanswered.
It's gonna be April and my life is someone else's.
This and that. She decides it all. And me, trying to please her as always, agrees to every damn thing she says.
Someone died and made her Queen of me and my-damned-future.
It's gonna be April and one year is so soon.
I am thankful he's still around. We had too many arguments, too many tears, too many disappointments. But still, he stays. I love the comfortableness that exist in his voice whenever he says "Come, honey. Tell me why are you so angry? Why are you so mad?" Those words can calm me. He knows it hurts and he never tries to make it go away, but help me heal slowly. He understands. He cares. He provides me with the love and support I need and I could not ask for me. I am thankful for his existence in my life. He made it a point that neither of us will ever go to bed mad at one another. "You never know if you'll wake up tomorrow." he says. How can I ask for more? He's more than what I need, way too much than what I deserve. I appreciate his patience, his time, love and energy. And I wanna thank you, sayang, for everything you've done for me, for us.
"Walk a thousand miles just to see her smile again," he sings.
